I just can not seem to stay in touch anymore with anything when I feel like I am having some time to myself it goes to the shitter lol but I am taking a weekend to myself this weekend me & my Girls R going to Nashville for the weekend Marina & her Sweeite James is going Tiffney & her friend Chris is going & were going to have a GREAT!! weekend I am not going make this a long post I will return today to post more & Make some changes to the page...

tootles

Yea Yea I know I have said this b4 but Hey I have been abusy girl LOL I have been on a site here in Louisville & which I have meet some AWESOME!! folks...I have been hanging out with my Doris, Sherri, Steve alot I also meet my cousin for the 1st time YEA YEA I know what your thinking how did you meet your couisn for the 1st time he IM'd me on Yahoo & we got to talking either of us knew that we were couisns but after talking for awhile it came out LOL we were both  pretty SHOCKED  but I have groen to love him alot...I know the last posts in the past have been about my EX!!! best friend Clayton WELP!! everyone will be happy to hear it is OVER!!!!!!! no more I see him @ Bingo when I go but I will say it makes me ill  to see his face my oldest is doing GREAT!! she has started a new job alot closer to home YEAP!! it is a Child Care & she LOVES!!! it she is very good at what she does if I must say!! Marina she is my Youngest she is also doing GREAT!!! she got her job @ UPS as a Temp now she  is NO Longer a Temp & loves it she has decided to sit out a few months of college & hit is strong in January 2007 she got her degree she is a CNA & is going to go to be a Nurse...For Scott my newph he is doing AWESOME!!! he has a girlfriend she is a bit older than he is but he is doing GREAT!! Roy is Still on my nerves lol when isn't he LMAO  But I am looking forward each new day since I have meet my cousin...if you read this Mark I love you Cuz with all my heart... I am learning alittle bit of spanish & sign Lang from Sherri & Ana at work I have been posting on Yahoo so if anyone has Yahoo look me up SoftkissesFrmMe@yahoo.com I must say it has been a GREAT!!! summer O did I tell ya Marina got a new car to she is pimping it up with the help of her Boyfriend lil James, who I will add is now living with us her ex boyfriend Gary Tiffney sweetie is moving to Louisville to lol I will have a house full this is for sure but I am off to the state fair Marina & I R going to see Rascal Flatts in Concert OOOOOOOO I am sooooooo excited

Tootles...

I have know I have said this in the past I was going to keep up with this journel but I am ashamed to say I haven't I am going to try this again I have a journel on Yahoo that I have been posting on  lol so I have meet so many new friends on a site I am on I just seem to run out of time anymore...it has been a GREAT!! summer I am off to a concert with my daughter Marina at the state fair, Like i said I have been on a site from Louisville & have meet alot of new Friends...Shoutting out to just a few of the closest ones, Steve wooo baby he is a CUTIE!!  but relax he is married LOL Doris aww she is one of the GREAT!! people I have meet I think...& just about a week ago I was on yahoo talking to someone who I will admit is a AWESOME!! person & come to find out he is my cousin WOOO HOOOO I must say hun I am glad I fount out cause if I would have meet him b4 I knew O I felt sorry for him I would have rape him....MAN!! o MAN!! he is a HOTIE that is for sure  when he sent me a Picture of him b4 we knew we were couisns I was speehless  Welp I see that he just signed on talk to folks later

tootles

GOSH!! looking at the last time I posted it has been a LONGGGGGGGG time alot has happened since I posted I just do not know where to begin..SO bare with me I am going to jump right in.. K lets start with me welp I final won Bingo O yes LOL how Sweet it was to yell BINGO LOL but I would not know everyone else yelled it for me LOL I won the over all by myself YEAP!! 1,200  then went back the next week won 300.00 then week after that 400.00 LOL I am still hanging in there just been threw alot with the family so now it is my time to CHILL!!! Scott he is my Oldest newph he is doing OUTSTANDING!! he has STOPPED drinking YEAP!! can you belive it he came to me one night & said I am going to stop needless to say I was speakless but he has done it not a drink in 2 months wooo hooo Tiffney Started yet another new job she got to the nurseying home & said NOPE!! this aint for me so she is full time doing something she Loves she is a Teacher for a child care & has been there 3 months & LOVES!!! it mon - Fri  8am - to 5:30pm NO weekends No nights...BOY am I jealous lol Naaaa she has fount her home in the employement, Marina Hmm she quiet Wesley Manor went to another job making more money she liked the job but was not her cup of tea so to speak so she has applied for UPS & has pretty much the job they told her as long as she passes the drig test she has it...and i know this will not be a problem so she was told that she would be starting out 9.50 per hour mon -- fri she is still going to College so she is working 2pm to 10:30 no weekends Now I need to find a job like that LOL & for Marina's Car well the bretta has died & went to heavan lol so to speak she traded it in & NOW HAS car payments which I will add I hear every month when she pays it I HATE CAR PAYMENTS!! lol all I tell her everytime is I TOLD YOU SO!!!  Noooo she did not get her mustang but she is going to get that once she gets all of her tickets off the insurance. We finaly got scott a bedroom he was thrilled when I showed him what Marina me & my mom done for me he has his own computer in his room & is now saving for a car Sounds like were all doing better huh...For Clayton & my friendship  lol well what I mean is I have decided if & when he has balls to talk to me when she is around instead of treating me like i have a diease then we will talk   Shane & I talk everyday he is a AWESOME guy!! i love him to death & hope soon to make it to Nashville to see him again or he is coming here which ever comes 1st I want to make it there first cause I want to see the Zoo. I am in a AWESOME!! mood Tomrrow is Mothers Day & we Having a cook out & I get my SWING!!! No I am Not getting it from my girls my sister is selling her house & she gave it to me Wooo Hoooo

Well I know everyone it has been a long time since I posted but I have been WAY!!! busy Marina started her new job & Tiffney quiet her old one started another one well they Fired her cause of the car wreck which was not her fault & now she is started another one she LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSS it I will add she has cheesey hours LOL 8-5 monday -- Friday off everyweek & no holidays & getting good money Gesh I am jealous LOL Marina loves her new job she is looking to start another one hopeful in May with her Uncle which is a Lawyer making 11.81 a hour so she is excited about that my sister is moving along GREAT!! with the selling of her house & Scott he is doing SSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO much better now  lol have i left anyone out LOL O yea Roy Naaaaa no news on him so no need to start with that LOL I am back on my meds for my sugar Doc said my sugar is OUT OF CONTROL!! welp I guess that is what I get for eatting the BIG BOX!! of Choc I got for Valentimes day  from my Co-workers they R So Sweet I will miss them when I leave I heard from Clayton today e-mail as usualy same o same o lol I had other journels that no one Knew about but I have to tell ya I have DELETED 1 & the Diet one LOL If I could remember the name password I would delete that one as well so NO more journels EXCEPT this one & ya Know I am looking to Change this one for the simple fact I want to  I am going to do some changing with alot of things I am closing the gap on my friends I am just not talking to them that say there my friends & aint NO NAMES!! They know who they R & the people that go around trying to tell my Business to people online trying to get them to hate me. welp Ya know I look at it this way I know what I said & so does the man upstairs so if they want to belive the lies that some people tell then SOOOOOOOO BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEE ITTTTTTTT. I did not get to go to Nashville like i had planned...Marina's teeth grrrrrrrr have to be paid for gesh I tell ya what have you ever heard of the MILLION DOLLAR WOMAN LOL  welp Marina's mouth is a million dollar mouth LOL I swear I have spend so much money on this kids mouth  but this is ok I love her she is my baby girl & SHane & I R going to meet again I will promise him this lol he said he is coming here in july so if I do not get there b4 then he is suppose to come here > awww I love him he is my BEST FRIEND!! I can honestly say I have never had a friend like Shane he is a GREAT!! person & I am Blessed to have him as a friend.. we R Like 2 Old woman we talk every morning for about 30 minutes on the phone LOL

I did not call him for 2 days & he called me  aint he so sweet YEAP!!! he is & I am glad to say he is MY BEST FRIEND!!  Well I am closing this I am off to Chat to Reggie for a bit Then off to bed to watch some TV Chat to you guys later

Well I know it has been a while since I have posted there has been alot of term oil going on & I really have not had anytime to get to post..I have a 55 gal a 10 gal & a 21/2 gal Fish tank I cleaned out the 55 gal by taking half the water out & putting clean back in well in the process I killed 5 of my fish  which I will add R my babies I love my fish so my husband as a DICK!! as he is was screaming at me I lost it I went off on him told him to get the FUCK OUT!! I am So sick of him treating me as he does. I do not need him for money cause I am the one the pays all the bills he can not make it on his own cause of the child support he pays out each week. He says he loves me HA!!! yea right he loves the fact he has it FUCKEN MADE!! O grrrrrrrr my dryer went out I have a 2nd set but it belongs to my husbands mom who is no longer living I do not want to use that cause when we got together I got rid of all my stuff so he could move his shit in WELL BIG MISTAKE! Y do I say this is cause everytime he did not get his way QUOTE.....I will take all my stuff & leave & you will have NOTHING!! well so sad to say I have slow moved or got rid of HIS SHIT!! & replaced it with mine!! I never wanted it to come down to this but I WILL NOT be threatened like that SO FUCK HIM & that horse he rode in on.. I bought my own washer & dryer as well from a friend i did not pay much for it so I was surpised it lasted as long as it did I went out got a new one not brand new but one that has been rebuilt so that will be delivered on Monday THANK GOODNESS I do not have to listen to his MOUTH about me useing his SHIT!! I had to go to the laundry mat today cause his moms dryer died to I ask him to help me load up the car so I can get it done well he stated I am not getting about of the bed so I had to ask my newph to help me..I spend 30.00 bucks at the laundry mat does that tell you how much I had to wash & dry he is once again FUCKEN screaming at me cause I am posting OMGRRRRRRRRRRRR I am jumping off here

B4 I go to jail for killing his ASS

**HUGS** me

Welp I am am ok I guess been trying to get all the cars back on te road Marina is having a fit cause her's aint done yet Tiffney's everytime i turn around Roy is saying it needs this now & it needs that now it aint nothing major but just the fact I do not have the money at this time to put into to we put brakes all the way around it yesterday Hub Bareings R going out & Tie roads b4 the car can get alined I tell ya this car is going to be brand new when we get done with it. I have been playing on Pogo alot the passed few days it seems to settle me down when i play a game. I went to bingo again Friday & Sat night hoping to win something to maybe help out but NOOOOOOO I was cased left & right but nothing. Staci went with us last night lol I laughed so hard last night I i could not even think, Regina was there YUCK!! so since staci had never seen her b4 I said there is Regina...staci reply OMG ewwww LOL I said I told ya she was like how old is she I said 45 I think she said O Jeanette she looks like is in her 60's she looks back she said what does Clayton see in her LOL I was like i have no clue...Then she said now all i have to see is Clayton lol I said you might get your wish, Clayton & I have been friends for along time but until him & Regina done what they done to me but staci has never seen him she has heard me speak him alot. Well as the night closed I seen him walk up I hit staci on her leg & she screamed out EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW lol everyone in the bingo hall looked at her LMAO I said Staci she said OMG did I said that loud I was like YEA!!   she was like OMG LOL I was thinking it I never thought it came out @ that point I lost it I could not stop laughing.. We were not sitting that far from them anyway so I know they heard her but ya know O WELL!! I have been depressed all work just things running threw my head & fighting with Roy cause I am so tired of being treated the way he treats me, I hate taking meds but I think i need to go to the doctors & get on some cause I feel myself just wantting to slip in a deep depression I just do not want to get up do anything I just want to sleep & cry all the time. I feel so drained. Roy is always bitching at me for something saying the car is shitty but yet he told he was not helping me find her a car but when I find her one he has done nothing but complain..YOU GOT SCREWED!! this is all I hear out of his mouth you know maybe I did but I fount a car I felt was good enough, but no matter what I do he is always nipping at my heals about something.. I am now finish bitching at AOL cause this stupid shit they have on this 9.0 Grrrrrrrrr I am closing this entry I am going to post on the diet journel now so see ya there

Ta Ta

Well I am feeling alittle bit better today still just so woren out I have been screamed at all weekend by my husband Roy, I listen to him saying things about me & this car of Tiffney's I just bought until I took enough I went OFF I looked at him & started screaming right back I told him I was so fucken sick of him & his attiude towards me I could care fucken less if he packed his shit & moved out... He looked at me after I went on a SCREAMING Rage he was like I am sorry I did not mean to O That just set me off again I started screaming again..I flat told him I have listen to you for 4 days screaming at me trying to make me look stupid in Pep boys when we were getting parts for the car then I said FUCK IT!!! I am going to bingo & you know i have never been crazy about bingo but ya know that is the only place I can get away from everyone...Scott & I went & had a good time it was a shame scott's cell works in the bingo...mine doesn't lol they were calling his phone I was like Grrrrrrrrrr  I can not win for loosing. Marina car is getting fixed today Thank Goodness now maybe she will stop complaining about that Roy & I went to the junk yard to get some things for Tiffney's car that does not work like corner lights spent 3 hours walking around in the mudd which I will add was EWWWWWWWWWW...

I can tell ya something I am not no tom boy...this is all I heard out of Roy mouth while we were at the junk yard come on yoru to slow, Stop complaing it is mudd, I am like FUCK YOU this shit is for a man not a lady he was like well look at her she is not complaining she is covered in mudd & said well good for her if you want a manly creator as a wife go back to one of yor X-wifes they both look like a man & if you want a lady then shut that fucken hole in your face & leave me BE!!!  . Then he was making fun of me cause I was walking threw some cars & almost feel OMG I was so fucken mad I could not even think straight. O he knew I was mad cause he ask me a question...I looked him straight in the face & said DROP DEAD! Then Marina & her smart ass mouth.. she started running her mouth this afternoon & I took as much as I could of her & went off her to..I flat told her ass if she thought that lil of me go live with her fucken SPERM DONOR!! she calls a Dad... YES!! I am speaking my mind right now, you might be asking Y I call him this welp he walked out of Marina's life when she was 4yrs old not one time did he try & call her for 12yrs well when she turned 17 he started coming around again acting like SUPER POP!! I ask him when Marina graduated so she would not have to get student loans to pay for college if he could help her...do u know that sorry ass bastard said NO she can get student loans & pay them back when she gets out of college that is what I did...OOOOO NOOOOOO I lost it he told Marina boy your mom can b a bitch & I over heard him I turned around came up & got in his face & said your DAMN roght I can be & you have not seen nothing yet... Now everytime he trys to come over I am a Bitch he says Hi I say DROP DEAD!! lol I am telling ya being on my bad side is some place you do not want to be.. so I finaly told him one time your not welcome here so do yourself a favor & don't come back..  When I hired the lawyer for Marina's wreck the lady in the office said honey when things start settling down for you your going to loose it she said your sooo stressed out I was like yea whatever lol but Ya know I have made Marina Cry today & told my husband to get out!! Tiffney was like hmmm mom I am staying clear from you your PMS ing ....& on the war plath...I am just tired & stressed out.. I am telling ya folks at this point I do not care if he walks out.. I just do not care about anything..I am so tired of being hurt & screamed at it isn't funn.

I am goig to close for now Thanks for listening everyone.. Ta ta

I sometimes feel like i can not win for loosing anymore I have been threw alot this past year & it seems to me 2006 might just be the same way. Tiffney's wreck ended the New Year with a bang, Tiffney went to the doctor today fount out she has pulled ligaments in her right hand from when she was bracing herself from the wreck & the fight has begun again I finaly got the money off the Van fount Tiffney another car Thank Goodness... husband picked the car to death cause I fount it he didn't..Yea I am married but ya know i feel so alone right now, Scott moved in with us which is my oldest newph cause I am helping him get on his feet, he looked at me the other night & said you know Jeanette it does not take a rocket sciencest to figure out who does what around here I just laughed & said no it doesn't. I work 9-7 five days aweek & on my days off I am cleaning all day & then i stop & look at it few hours later looks as if I have not done anything. NO Roy does not help me with anything I am not asking for someone to feel sorry for me cause I guess I make my bed I am laying in it. I am so Sick of getting hurt I have been hurt alot lately between my closet friends to my family I am hoping with me writing this it will help me understand. Marina's car needs some work on it, Me & Marina has ask Roy to ask a friend of his how much he would charge us to do it but Roy has more excuses not to call. Well I finaly called 200.00 for labor which NO is not bad but I have a daughter that has been in a wreck trying to find her a car working full time & then i have another daughter who needs me. I know this sounds so werid coming out of my mouth but if your married I thought the other party helps the other person. I started this journel not to have pretty msic to play or lil pretty things on it or colors just to have some one to express how I am feeling.  I know I have picked the wrong friends to be friends with & I know I have done alot of things I wish I had not done but Ya know I am human I have always been one to help anyone in time of need, even Roy but where is he or anyone when I need them??  You know I am not asking for anyone to lend me money or buy me things cause I am the type of person I do not ask for anyone to give me or buy me anything but all I ask for is honestly & be my friend. My mom has been AWESOME!! I have cried on her shoulder so much here lately it is not funny. Sometime I just want to ask Y ME... I am planning a trip out of town with my girls & my best friend Staci I know I am going to have a Good time cause were going SHOPPING LOL !! no I am not out to spend money just window shop, and ya know I am at the point I do not care if I see anyone but the 4 walls in the hotel LOL at least I know I had some time for ME! & ME only...  I can Not wait until I find out how much I am getting back on my taxes needless to say it is already spent On helping Marina with her car & keep the family float... Some one said something to me the other day & I want to say it hurt me pretty bad...They said you have to much drama in yor life.. well I have to say NO I do not I am going to start this day by staying off the computer more offen maybe the drama is here & I am not seeing it.. Sure I will get on & play on pogo awww the site I love LOL... I so miss hanging out with people my age instead of sitting here @ home. I guess that person was right...Drama HA! I am so sick of fonny people..if you want to be my friend be my friend if you love me then love me for me not what I can do for you...

Welp If I do not post for awhile there is no need to wonder i will be ok just need to do some thinking..I know I made my friend Shane mad I guess I was bugging him 2 much.All I can say is I am sorry you do not have to worry about me bugging ya no more..  Maybe there is something wrong with me who Knows but I know I am not feeling sry for myself anymore I am going to start on Friday January 13 2006 doing things JUST!! alittle things differently

Staci, thanks for always being there for me you have always said we married the same guy HAHA maybe not the same but when comes to somethings your right but I do not look to keep mine as long as You have.. I am very strong headed person & stubborn as hell so all I am ending this by saying look out World I have been called a BITCH for the last time..if I am going to be called it I am going to BE A BITCH!!

I get over 1 cold that my husband Roy gave me I felt like SHIT!! all last week I final get over that & now Tiffney my oldest gave me her's I am coughing so much my chest hurts my noses hurts & very sore I have not been on the computer much been taking alot of drugs trying to kick this cold.. I slept most of the day today I have some lazy ass people that live here with me I got up to do something & I spent 7 hours on this house & my living room looked like SHIT!! Grrrrrrrr I was so mad I was steaming...Marina was like mom I will clean it up..I was like YEA RIGHT!! Marina has problems cleaning her own room unless I tell her if that room is not CLEANED!! by the end of the day I am cleaning it & Shit will be throwing shit in the garbage!! then she gets all pissy & go upstairs & cleans it LOL works everytime.. Tiffney is the same way but she did not belive me one time I threw so much shit away it was not funny...Needless to say when I tell her that she is up there starting it b4 I finish the sentence. lol Marina starts classes tomrrow again she is complaining already, Cross your fingers she has a job interveiw with UPS on thursday I am soooooo hoping she gets this job she will be out of the Wesley Manor Drama, my kids have never been one to be in the middle of the drama when Tiffney left wesley manor they started on Marina she flat told them to go to HELL!! lol Well the drama started again last week Marina called me yelling & screaming she is sick of the crap I am like O goodness what is going on now... She was like I am sooooo sick of this shit it aint funny I am like now what is going on but You see nothing surpises me with Wesley Manor NOTHING!! Marina is now trying to take James away from Natalie LOL which I will add Marina & James has been friends for about Hmmmm 6yrs & there is no dating there lol they have just friends.. And now there is a guy names Al & Marina is suppose to be starting rumors about Jenna & Al....Marina said mom you know I wish I had all this spare time to do all this crap I am like sooooo over this childish crap...I told Marina it is like these people R so damn bored with there lives that they need to add some drama to there lives....what they really need to either go to the movies or rent one if there that bored! Welp folks I jumping off here drugs R kicking in & am going to lay down & watch some Law & Order SVU which is my favorite show

Chat with you guys later.... **HUGS** Me